The Life Of a Coffee Addict

just about some crazy wild antics, some restless thoughts of the one who walks the walls of the city relentlessly, the story of a coffee addict

Friday, December 21, 2001

So, this day had established me as a nincompoo and rightly so I am. Of all the controls that I have learned and cultivated, I failed in the control of detachment - maybe because I never wanted to master it anyways. I never wanted to be an unfeeling one. I must feel for this is what establishes me as a human and life must have its ups and down and everything has an order to follow in this universe.

It is hard to detach though. I have to learn to untie the strings that wind and bind and live life through. It is a sad day through all this Christmas and New Year and I rightly so deserve it.

Bye... Dear Blogger

I had loathe to write this past days simply because I know of an impending doom that was about to explode. Well, the doom did not explode rather it had turned out as what I had expected - silence. I think there comes a path in relationships where you have to think very hard whether you would like to cross it or cement the broken edges or rifts that had threated to blow the bridge away. Yesterday, I decided not to do anything. It had made me terribly miserable, yes I admit but I am maintaining my stubborn position of not giving in. Lose I will! - terribly for my opponent in this case is equally as prideful and stubborn as I am probably more stubborn. But I am willful and this case in a very silly ways but I loathe to explain myself nor bring myself to initiate a contact.

It has rained rather strongly yesterday and today also. I am trying to tell my heart it hurts but I must not care as it would seem that it would not work that quick. Today it rained cats and dogs. This is a bad sign, I admit for it always rained when I am heartbroken. The almost storm thing is a testimony of this.

Wednesday, December 19, 2001

A Dose Of Misery

Today I am back at work. There seems to be a lot of things to do. I just had two separate short meetings with the students and my department head which would be continued again :) Later I have another meeting with a colleague over two subjects we share. I just heard that next Monday we have to come to work - why when it is Christmas Eve. Sometimes, I just can't bear to work here.

Have made my mind to make this day as productive as ever which means that I have to work twice as hard. I wish that I could say that the coming Christmas day would be filled with joy but it seems unlikely now. There are so much to do - so many pending issues to resolve. It is disturbing.